Misguided Hope

Misguided Hope

“Love is the most powerful force in the universe.” Most of us actually believe that, if love is strong enough, it will create a healthy relationship in addition to changing the course of rivers and moving mountains. Forgive my indulgence in cynicism but the parallel is appropriate. For some relationships, a favorable outcome is about as probable.

Many people are confused because the conventional wisdom about love is not very wise. The common assumption is that a strong love is an intense love and that the stronger the feeling, the longer it will last. Love songs proclaim “I want a love whose flame is hot enough to last.” Unfortunately, the reality may be that you will wind up with a flash in the pan.

One of the most erroneous beliefs about relationships is that intensity creates consistency. However, if you want to predict consistency and persistence in a relationship, you are better off fining a mate who is generally consistent and persistent in all relationships.

It is always amazing to me that people will overlook the obvious available data and be seduced by the other person’s intense feelings. Most people who are in covert relationships with married lovers are making this mistake despite the lies, alibis, and broken promises.

It’s as if the reassurance of an occasional romantic interlude stokes the fire of misguided hope: the hope that because you and the other person love intensely, he or she will behave differently with you than he has in the past.

The sad truth is that some forms of love may be both intense and lethal. Certain personality disorders are capable of producing the most intense forms of love, yet their relationships yield a much higher homicide rate. Many others are somewhat less pathological but are still capable of episodic loving with intense passion as well as leading the partner’s life to general turmoil.

There’s a flip side to this coin. In early childhood it’s natural to think that you’re at the center of the universe. If you don’t receive the attention, consistency, and nurturing you crave, then childhood logic dictates that you must be doing something wrong – or just not doing enough. For adults who were children of dysfunctional families, this type of thinking has been doubly reinforced by an emotionally impoverished environment.

In adulthood, it’s an easy transition to apply the same logic with a slight variation: if you’re doing enough to bring about some occasional intense passion in your mate, then a bit more effort can probably bring about his or her constant devotion. This line of magical thinking is one reason why a higher proportion of children from dysfunctional families find themselves addicted to hopelessly inconsistent relationships. It’s unfortunate that so many people have such badly calibrated gyroscopes.

My point of view is that people are not made truthful and responsible because they love someone. They’re truthful and responsible because they love truth and responsibility. Love develops alongside the integrity of character that already exists. You don’t have to pursue the misguided hope of trying to make someone more consistent with your love. Instead, you can use the power of your wisdom to select a mate who already has integrity. If your partner doesn’t value his integrity sufficiently, then no amount of intense romance is going to change that.

If you would like to hear my recommendations to people who have written in about their various relationship problems, go to my website at http://www.carycounseling.com/door/Prototype/marriageadvicefak.html .
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Thanks:http://docksidedoc.wordpress.com/2008/10/20/misguided-hope/

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Being naked in the presence of others. . .

NATURISM ENCOURAGES MUTUAL RESPECT
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Naturism is characterized by the practice of communal nudity. Nudity is seen by most people as being the most obvious aspect of naturism. While it is true that nudity is central to naturism, it is also a means of encouraging self-respect, respect for others, and for the environment. To approach another person completely naked is an act of trust.

You are saying, in effect, “Here I am, completely unpretentious, with all my physical imperfections on view. Accept me for what I am, and I will accept you as you are. What you see is the whole “me” as I really am.” Such an attitude can only engender mutual respect.

You feel really close to nature when you discard your clothes and feel warm sunshine, fresh air or cool water on the whole of your body. Being naked outdoors gives you a great sense of freedom.

Being naked in the presence of others is a pleasurable experience, but it is pleasure in the nicest sense of the word. It is very relaxing and enjoyable.

You won’t find naturists nervously leering at each other – they are open and trusting of each other, accepting each other’s imperfections, and respecting each other’s personalities.

Clothes restrict the flow of air over the skin and prevent the evaporation of perspiration. Clothes encourage the proliferation of bacteria and microscopic fungi, especially in humid and warm conditions. They interfere with the body’s natural temperature control mechanisms, making some parts hotter than others.

Naked people rarely smell bad, but sweaty clothes do. Tight shorts and trousers, raise the temperature of the testicles in the male, thus interfering with the development of sperm and male hormones and reducing fertility. Nakedness is the human animal’s natural condition and contributes to physical and emotional health.

A most important aspect of naturism is its educational effect on growing children. In the clothed world, where everyone goes to great lengths to hide their “private parts”, children become ashamed of their own bodies and curious about the bodies of others, especially of the opposite sex.

Sex becomes “forbidden fruit”, and this leads to unnaturally intense curiosity and often undesirable behavior. In the naturist setting, naked bodies are no big deal. There is no prurient curiosity; no need to be ashamed of one’s own body since others are obviously developing in the same way.

Adolescents can see exactly how their bodies are going to change as they grow older. It would be extremely unlikely for a person who has been raised in a naturist family to become a sexual deviant or pedophile.

The practice of naturism automatically engenders a healthy attitude towards people of the opposite sex. They are seen as whole personalities

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Thanks: http://nudistbare.com/

Witty Quotes(1)

WITTY QUOTES

 

Speak the truth, but leave immediately after.

– Slovenian proverb

 

Imagination is more important than knowledge.

– Albert Einstein

 

Anything not worth doing is worth not doing well. Think about it.

– Elias Schwartz

 

Everything you can imagine is real.

– Picasso

 

Learning is not compulsory… neither is survival.

– W. Edwards Deming

 

A fanatic is one who can’t change his mind and won’t change the subject.

– Winston Churchill

 

The man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.

– Anonymous

 

If everything is coming your way then you’re in the wrong lane.

– Anonymous

 

Use soft words and hard arguments.

– Anonymous

Failure to prepare is preparing to fail.

– Anonymous

 

Wonder is the beginning of wisdom.

– Greek proverb

 

A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.

– Lao-Tsu

 

It is not the horse that draws the cart, but the oats.

– Russian proverb

 

Witty Quotes

Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other.

– Ann Landers

 

Isn’t it interesting that the same people who laugh at science fiction listen to weather forecasts and economists?

– Kelvin Throop

 

The best way to succeed in life is to act on the advice we give to others.

– Anonymous

 

If you can’t convince them, confuse them.

– Harry S Truman

 

It usually takes a long time to find a shorter way.

– Anonymous

 

Never argue with a fool. Someone watching may not be able to tell the difference.

– Anonymous

 

All jobs are easy to the person who doesn’t have to do them.

– Holt’s Law

 

Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.

– Chinese proverb

 

Necessity is the mother of invention.

– Plato

 

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

W. C. Fields

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          Source:www.didyouknow.cd/quotes.htm

 

Quotes on MARRIED LIFE

Famous gentleman’s quotes on MARRIED LIFE

 

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of Chemistry.

That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.

 David Bissonette

 

 

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By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy.

If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.

Socrates

 

 

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Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

Dumas

 

 

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The great question… which I have not been able to answer… is,

 “What does a woman want”?

Sigmund Freud

 

 

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I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

Anonymous

 

 

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“Some people ask the secret of our long marriage.

We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week.

 A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing.

She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.”

Henry Youngman

 

 

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“I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for few years.”

Sam Kinison

 

 

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“There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than

electronic banking.

It’s called marriage.”

James Holt McGavran

 

 

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“I’ve had bad luck with both my wives.

The first one left me and the second one didn’t.”

Patrick Murray

 

 

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Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming

1. Whenever you’re wrong, admit it,

 2. Whenever you’re right, shut up.

Nash

 

 

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You know what I did before I married?

 Anything I wanted to.

 Henny Youngman

 

 

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A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.

Milton Berle

 

 

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Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.

Anonymous

 

 

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First Guy (proudly): “My wife’s an angel!”

Second Guy “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.”

 

 

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posted by

Tamilan

 source:smilejokes.blogspo.com

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Laws invented through experience

 

Few interesting laws just have a look at it
 
Lorenz’s Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

Anthony’s Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Kovac’s Conundrum:
When you dial a wrong number,you never get an engaged one.

Cannon’s Karmic Law:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire,
the next morning you will have a flat tire.

O’brien’s Variation Law:
If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than
the one you are in now.

 

கோபத்தைக் கட்டுப்படுத்துவது எப்படி?

நீண்ட நாள் வாழ வேண்டுமானால் கோபத்தை குறைத்தாக வேண்டும். கோபத்தை இரு வழிகளில் கட்டுப்படுத்தலாம். ஒன்று குறுகிய காலத்துக்கு. மற்றெhன்று நீண்ட காலத்துக்கு.

 பொதுவாக கோபம் என்பது சிந்தனைகளின் வெளிப்பாடு தான். ஒரு குறிப்பிட்ட நிகழ்ச்சி ஆத்திரமூட்டாத நிலையில், அதில் தலையிடும் போது நீங்கள் அதைப் பற்றி என்ன நினைக்கிறீர்கள், என்ன உணர்கிறீர்கள் என்பதைப் பொறுத்தும் கோபம் உண்டாகும்.


கோபத்தை குறைக்க 16 வழிகள் இதோ


1. கோபத்தின் முக்கிய காரணியான வெறுப்பை கைவிடுங்கள்.


2. கோபத்தை ஏற்படுத்தும் நிகழ்ச்சிகளை தவிர்த்திடுங்கள்


3. அவசரம் ஒருபோதும் வேண்டாம்


4. நேரம் மேம்பாடு மற்றும் சுய கட்டுப்பாட்டை கடைப்பிடியுங்கள்


5. செய்யும் வேலையை நேசத்துடனும், நேர்மையுடனும், குழப்பம் இல்லாமலும் செய்யுங்கள்.


6. கோபம் வருகிற சூழ்நிலைகளில் வாயை பொத்திக் கொள்ளுங்கள்.


7. மதம் சம்பந்தான பிடித்தமான ஸ்லோகன்களை மனதுக்குள் சொல்லிக் கொள்ளுங்கள். அது உங்களை மகிழ்ச்சியுடனும், அமைதியாகவும் வைத்திருக்கும்.


8. ஆழமான பெருமூச்சு விடுங்கள்


9. எவ்வளவு கோபம் ஏற்படுகிறதோ, அதைப் பொறுத்து 1 முதல் 100 வரையிலான எண்களை எண்ணிடுங்கள்.


10. சுறுசுறுப்பான வாக்கிங் செல்லுங்கள்

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11. கோபம் வருகிறது என்று தெரிந்ததும், ஒரு டம்ளர் தண்ணீர் குடியுங்கள்.


12. முகத்தை கழுவுங்கள். அல்லது ஒரு சுகமான குளியல் போடுங்கள்.

 

13. கவனத்தை இசையில் திருப்புங்கள்.


14. எந்த விஷயம் கோபத்தை ஏற்படுத்துமோ, அதைப் பற்றி விவாதிப்பதை விட்டு விட்டு வேறு விஷயத்தை திருப்புங்கள்.


15. ஓய்வெடுக்கலாம், அல்லது குட்டித் தூக்கம் போடுங்கள்.


16. கோபத்தை உண்டு பண்ணும் நினைப்புகளில் இருந்து திருப்பும் வகையில் ஏதாவது ஒரு வேலையில் உங்களை ஈடுபடுத்திக் கொள்ளுங்கள்.

 

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Courtesy:http://devendrakural.blogspot.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

முதலாளி- தலைவன்

முதலாளிக்கும் தலைவனுக்கும் உள்ள வேறுபாடுகள் என்ன ?

 

முதலாளி பயத்தை ஏற்படுத்துவார்.தலைவர் தன்னம்பிக்கையை உருவாக்குவார்.

 

முன்னவர் குற்றம் சாட்டுவதில் குறியாக இருப்பார். பின்னவர் குற்றத்தைப் பெரிதுபடுத்தாமல் அதைச் சரிசெய்வார்.

 

முதலாளிக்கு எல்லாம் தெரியும்.ஆனால் தலைவர் கேள்விகளைக் கேட்டபடி இருப்பார்.

 

தலைவர் சிஷ்யன் செய்ய வேண்டிய வேலையை சுவாரஸ்யமாக

ஆக்குவார்.

முதலாளியோ தொழிலாளியின் வேலையை இயந்திரமாக்கி வெறுப்படைய வைத்து விடுவார்.

 

(தலைவர் என்ற சொல்லுக்கு நான் புரிந்து கொள்ளும் அர்த்தம் லீடர்)

நன்றி; குமுதம் (அரசு பதில்கள்-13-08-08)

 

 

The beauty of a woman

Beauty of a WOMAN

 

The beauty of a woman

Is not in the clothes she wears,

The figure she carries,

Or the way she combs her hair.

Th e beauty of a woman

Must be seen from her eyes,

Because that is the doorway to her heart,

The place where love resides.

The beauty of a woman

Is not in a facial mole,

But true beauty in a woman

Is reflected in her soul.

It is the caring that she lovingly gives,

The passion that she shows,

The beauty of a woman

With passing years-only grows.

 

Lucky is the man who is the first love of a woman,

but luckier is the woman who is the last love of a MAN

 

courtesy: (http://jerryreghunadh.wordpress.com/2007/04/02/beauty-of-a-woman/)

The strength of man. . .

The strength of a man isn’t in the deep tone of his voice.
It is  in the gentle words he whispers.

The strength of a man isn’t how many buddies he has.
It is how good a buddy he is with his kids.

The strength of a man isn’t in how res
pected he is at work.
It is in how respected he is at home.

The strength of a man isn’t in how hard he hits.
It is in how tender he touches.

The strength of a man isn’t how many women he’s Loved by.
It is in can he be true to one woman.

The strength of a man isn’t in the weight he can lift.
It is in the burdens he can understand and overcome.

 

source:unadh.wordpress.com/2007/04/02
(http://jerryreghunadh.wordpress.com/2007/04/02/

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